Limbo
by Aphra
Summary: You didn't really think that our dear Inspector Javert was going to HELL? Did you? NOOO way he's too cool. Please r/r.


Limbo  
  
Aphra's Note: Duh, I don't own nething, so I won't claim to. Please don't sue me. Okay I   
thought I'd write this partlybecause I'm really bored and partly because I can't stand to think that   
our dear Inspector is burning in hell, but I do feel that it is very doubtful that someone would fish him  
out of the river... (lol even though he's not real...shhh...don't tell him I said that! -_-) Well, anyway this  
isn't in all seriousness. I'm not going to say it's funny because I'm certainly no comedian. My friends are  
very blunt like that. LOL. Well, anyway, (don't read the rest of the note if I'm already boring you with this  
long note,cuz it only gets more pointless...lol) I was always thinking that since heaven is paradise, then  
I should be given( if i do, indeed make it there...hardee, har, har har -_-) a room with all my crazy obsessions  
in it, it's greedy, but it's only fair. Ofcourse, I will have my own Javert. But he has to look like Philip Quast or at  
least Mann, because a lot of the other ones are beastly (no offense) and since it is heaven it has to be perfect. I  
will also have a rack filled with fezes, because those are really cool. I like the yellow tassles. I will also have a pet  
Grinch, and I will name him Jean Valjean, because I really like the grinch, and Jean Valjean is really cool too,  
and his name is fun to say. I'll also have a little amusement park there and it will resemble Disney World, and  
while we are on the subject of Disney, I might as well claim my self a pet Zazu, Timon, and Mickey, because they are  
all really great. I will also have a bunch of Curious George stuff, because he is so cool. I realize that this is getting,  
like, longer than the dumb story, but I just felt I needed to share that with you all. (I'm not insane, I promise, I know it's  
not gonna happen.) ~End~  
  
The stupid story:  
  
Javvie had just jumped in the river. As the world grew dark, he thought to himself how much he yearned for Lucifer   
to punish him, because he was a very confused man, and thought that since he had neglected his duty, he deserved it.   
Soon, Javert was dead.  
  
When he reawoke, he wasn't in the river, and he wasn't alive. He was standing in a hallway, and when he looked down   
his clothes were all clean and perfect. He was feeling just peachy, but it was all crypic, creepy, and frigid, and there was a   
bright blue door on one side.   
  
'Hmm...hell isn't exactly what I expected,' he thought as he turned around and around again in circles. There was no way  
out of the small hallway except through that door. After looking around a little more, 'spector Javert decided he had little  
choice but to go through the door. So he did. But as he closed the door behind him, he grew more confused. This wasn't hell.   
At least, it didn't look like hell. There were no chains, no fire, no Lucifer sitting nakedly on his throne with his stinky breath. No  
instead, the room looked much like a present-day Doctor's office.   
  
It wasn't too big, and there were chairs against three of the walls, with little endtables with scattered magazines on them.   
Several people were sitting down, reading, thinking, or simply doing nothing at all. A toothless, ugly man looked at the   
dear 'spector and waved at him, grinning. This scared Javert, so he moved as far away from that weird man as possible. At   
the far end of the room, behind a 'sliding' glass window desk, sat a sort of teller, with curlers in her overgrown red hair, and   
gum yacking loudly in her mouth. Her appearance was very irritating, and she didn't look up when Javvie entered the office.   
She didn't really look like Lucifer, but Javvie didn't know what to think, so he assumed it was Him in some strange form. He   
approached the woman and spoke to her.  
  
"I assume your Lucifer, Monsieur, (can't spell, but you, like, totally have to be polite to immortal peeps, even the devil I   
suppose...) I'm here to spend my eternity in punishment," said the dear 'spector.   
  
" 'Scuse me? No, sir ya mistakin'. Do I look like a guy? I know I'm dead, but I'm still ravishing. Name, please?" she said  
in a high, annoying Brooklyn accent, chewing her gum even louder.  
  
"Er, Inspector Javert."   
  
"Ah, yes," she said, holding up her clipboard, " yeah, yeah, your on the list. You can have a seat."  
  
"But, Madame, this doesn't appear to be HELL, so can you please tell me *where* I am?" inquired Javert.  
  
"Ya in purgatory, limbo! Duh! The management gives you 50 years to reflect," she replied, nonchalantly filing her   
bright pink finger nails, "Call me Fran."  
  
"Management? No, there must be some mistake. I'm supposed to be in HELL. H-E-L-L. I set a CONVICT free! I commited  
SUICIDE! I need to be PUNISHED." said the dear, outraged inspector.  
  
"God, stupid, God is the management! We have allowances for people with mental disorders. You will spend 50 years here,   
and then you will be allowed entrance into paradise." retorted Fran, pointing to a golden door behind her in the office.   
  
"I have no mental disorder. A man like me doesn't DESERVE paradise! To commit a mortal sin, you have to plan on   
doing it, knowingly do it, and then commit it. I planned to jump in the Seine, I knew that I was killing myself, and I killed  
myself. That equals a trip to HELL." complained Javvie.  
  
"No, no. We know your brain, there is clearly a chemical imbalance for you to have become so obsessive, and then kill  
yourself when you realized your obsession was worthless. You can have a seat, sir."  
  
Javert grumbled and decided that he should find a seat. When he turned around, he heard some giggling, and to his  
dismay, there sat Gavroche. He must have missed him when he walked in.  
  
"Good evening, dear Inspector, lovely evening my--" he began to taunt, but Javert cut him off.  
  
"Spare me that hideous song. It's your fault I'm in all this mess," complained the dear 'spector.  
  
"Well, if I didn't, it would have been all your fault, you were the spy. Besides, at least I'm not crazy," said Gavry.   
  
"I'm not cr---"  
  
"Yes you are, Madame Fran said so, and so did God. I only have to spend 5 months in here! You're stuck in here  
for 50 years! Hahahaha," teased Gavry.   
  
The dear 'spector finally succumbed and took a seat next to Gavroche, as it was either there or next the grinning   
weird guy. "So what is there to do here." inquired Javvie.  
  
"Nothing, really. I just sit here and twiddle my thumbs, read an occassional magazine,and try to avoid that toothless  
guy over there. He keeps grinning at me. It's really strange, you feel more at peace with each minute. But I guess you   
wouldn't know , 'spector, since you've got such a long time left."  
  
"Hmph." cried the frustrated 'spector. But as he had nothing better to do, he talked to Gavry for 5 months, and   
even let him pull on his sideburns occassionally, to see if they were real. Soon after he'd seen Gavroche there, Enjolras  
had entered. He was to be there for a longer period of 10 years. Javert felt somewhat uncomfy being reunited with his  
former enemies, but since they were practicing for paradise, everything became peachy.  
  
One day, Fran even called the dear 'spector up to the desk, and said that some grade school kid prayed for the souls   
of pergatory, and that it was his turn to get the prayer. He got a whole year shaved off his time. Wow.   
  
So Javvie passed the time reading periodicals, talking to all these people, and reflecting, like he was supposed to.   
But he grew incredibly bored. He went up to the desk. "Madame, I can't take this anymore!"  
  
"Sweetie, ya've only been here for, like, 7 months. Sheesh, for someone who wanted to be punished your acting like  
quite a wimp."  
  
"I should think I'd like to have my rump roasted rather than sit in endless boredom." decided the dear Inspector.  
  
"You think that now but wait for your time."  
  
Javert grumbled and took his seat once again, this time next to an end table with a bunch of periodicals. But he didn't   
feel like reading. The dear 'spector heard the door open. In walked Jean Valjean.   
  
Javvie was feeling quite embarrassed. He expected he'd never have to face Valjean again, as he was supposed to   
belong to Hell, and Valjean to Heaven. He grabbed the first magazine he could find, and covered his face with it.   
The dear 'spector heard Valjean chatting with Fran, who informed Valjean that his reflection time consisted of one month.   
Valjean thanked the woman and went to sit down.   
  
Javvie was glad that Valjean didn't notice him, although, in a month's time, they would most certainly clash.   
The Inspector actually begin to look at the magazine he had opened. The page he opened said: "Hot Pimp   
looking for a savvy Whore. Call 555-5555." Javert through down the magazine in digust. What was that sort of thing  
doing in a place supposed to be so pure? Forgeting, Valjean, he looked at the magazine's title, "Today's Prostitute" and   
picked it up to give to Fran and scream at her.  
  
"What is the meaning of this? I'm dead! I'm in limbo! What is this dirt doing here?" demanded Javert.  
  
"Hey, this is just the middleland, buddy, we're not perfect, but we're working on it, " said Fran as she gave the  
dear 'spector a nonchalant look.  
  
'Damn-it,' Javvie thought as he returned to his seat, cuz Valjean had been staring at him throughout that whole scene.  
  
Jeany approached Javert, "I see your still yourself," he said.  
  
Javvie adjusted himself in his chair because he felt quite uncomfy. This former convict whom he'd tried to be   
better than all his life was going to get to paradise before him, "What do you care? You'll be out of here in a month I have  
at least 48 years left."  
  
"It doesn't matter, because we are all going to the same place and we will all join the same eternity. I'm glad God  
had mercy on your soul," replied Valjean, "by the way, does that weird toothless guy over there always stare like  
that? He's very creepy."  
  
"Always," said the Inspector. He felt better now, he felt like he was finally experiencing that peace Gavroche  
had told him about.So, yadda, yadda, the dear 'spector spent the next month in the company of Valjean and became  
friends with his former foe. When he was gone, though, Javert was really bored again. Eventually Cosette and Marius  
were up there too, but during their reflection time it was time for the dear 'spector to enter Nirvana. Then Javert was very  
very happy. Duh, it's heaven.  
  
The End.   
  
  
Please Review. Even if you did not read.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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